The dive industry is filled with experiences of encounters ranging from the large and majestic manta rays and pelagic sharks to the tiny clown fish or nudibranchs and everything in between. But by far the most amazing creature you will come across as a PADI PRO is the tourist.
Below are some of the incredible true comments asked by tourists visiting the Great Barrier Reef. This compilation stems from a number of crew that work on the Great Barrier Reef every day.
By far my favourite is: “Is this your real job?” as this is the one I suppose I have heard the most. If you want to become a PADI PRO and do your IDC with me then click here….
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But for now, sit down and brace yourself for some amazing questions:
Diving / snorkelling related:
1. Doing the medical check for the certified divers:
a. Do breast implants count as chest surgery?
b. I don’t have high blood pressure, I’m on medication for it.
c. Don’t worry about my high blood pressure, my wife is a nurse.
d. I don’t have asthma, I have a puffer.
2. Just returned from a 40-minute intro dive and we are back at the surface. Lady takes her regulator out of her mouth and holds it above the water. Instructor looks at her and says, you can let that go. She replies: “Ohh, I didn’t think it could get wet.”
3. So, at low tide, we will not be able to dive as deep?
4. Can I go down in the underwater observatory if I’m flying tomorrow?
5. So, I seal my lips around the snorkel but keep my mouth open?
6. When trying to explain equalizing to a middle-aged lady who signed up for an intro dive, she speaks up and says: “Yeah, I know all that, I am a gynaecologist!”
7. How do I go down?
1. Why do you use bleach on the reef? That’s how it was bleached right?
2. Why is it called a marine park if there are no trees?
3. Why is the water so salty?
4. Will the next dive site be just as salty?
5. Does the electric coral hurt the fish?
6. What time does the 10 o’clock boat leave?
7. Man looking at the reef on the way out and says: “Is that man-made?”
8. Can I take a photo of the reef?
9. Will there be an opportunity to go snorkelling today or is it just sight-seeing?
10. Where is the toilet? Out the back on the boat. What???? Just hang over the side?
11. Why don’t you employ divers to pick up the dead coral?
12. Does the boat go backwards on the way home?
13. How do I pick up the fins?
14. I can’t swim, should I wear a life jacket?
15. Where did you bring all the fish from?
16. Are these flip flops all right to walk on the reef with, or should I put shoes on? No sir, you can’t walk on the reef. Ohhhh well, I’ll just go snorkelling then.
17. How do those birds get all the way out here to the reef?
18. Does the tide ever go under the surface of the ocean?
19. Does the water go all the way around the island?
20. Can I swim under the island?
21. Lady asks how do I get to the semi sub. Crew member explains. Lady interrupts “Slow down, you’re speaking Australian, I speak English!”
22. Does the flotation device make you float?
23. Man asks: “Where can I swim?” Crew replies just swim in this area pointing to the snorkelling area. Man replies: “I can’t swim there, that is for snorkellers.”
24. I’m extremely allergic to jelly fish, where can I sit on the boat? I don’t want to be stung.
25. Do you have seasick medication, this here is for motion sickness.
26. Lady holding a pair of Medium sized fins marked with an “M” asks; “Where do I get the Ladies fins? These ones are male ones.
27. Will my period attract the sharks?
28. Do you have a bigger mask? Try this one.No, this one does not work either. What seems to be the problem?I can’t breath. You have to breath from your mouth.
29. Does it rain out on the ocean?
30. Checking medicals lady advises of a hip replacement. Crew member asks; “any mobility issues?”Husband laughs and shouts out: “No, I’ve gotten her ankles above her head plenty of times.”
31. Are we still in Australia
32. Lady pulls crew member aside and says: “I didn’t want to ask in front of everyone else as that would be the same as calling bomb at the airport… Are there any sharks?”
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Things they do:
1. Guy smears Vaseline over his moustache before going snorkelling. Wife sees him do it and does it as well
2. Lady in the water happily snorkelling, husband is dry on the bridge yelling: “Nancy, get out of the water, it’s raining.
On the pontoon / semi sub:
1. Passenger gets off the boat onto the pontoon and asks: “How do I get back onto the boat?
2. What time does the observatory leave?
3. Guy comes up to crew and says: Can I catch the bus back to town? Crew: Sir, we came by boat. Guy: yeah, but I want to go back on the bus….
4. Child on the semi sub tour asks: “Can I open the window?”
5. Lady wearing jeans, running shoes and a jumper walks over to the ocean walking point and was stunned that she had to change as she would be getting wet.
6. Is this the semis sub? Yes, would you like to come for a ride? Only if I can get a window seat.
7. Lady looking out the window of the semi sub at all the coral and fish and turns to her husband and says: “Would it be cool if we could see this in 3D! that would be so cool!
8. Lady points towards land from the pontoon and says: “So that must be New Zealand.”
9. On the way out to the pontoon man walks up to the bar and says: “I’d like to complain, on your brochure you advertise a pontoon. I’ve walked all around this boat and there is no pontoon! This is false advertising. “Sir, we haven’t arrived at the pontoon yet.”
10. Lady on semi sub tour asks: “How far away is the closest shark?”
11. Just arrived at the pontoon. A couple asked if the boat can return to Port Douglas please as the reef wasn’t acceptable. There is no beach! “We have to swim”
12. Is there a swimming pool at the pontoon?
On the boat:
1. Do those stairs go up?
2. Does this boat go underwater? No sir it’s a boat. “But how will I get to see the coral and fish?
3. Lady walks onto the boat and stares at the ground and says: “This isn’t glass bottom – where is the glass bottom? Crew explains that she will have to wait until we arrive at the pontoon to board the glass bottom boat. Lady says: “Ohh, so this boat is going to take us somewhere?”
4. A man pointing to the fins asks what are those number for? Age? No sir they are sizes. Sizes of what?